I just want to keep my wedding simple. Something like a person that is ordained to perform a legal wedding will bind us. Then, we would be husband and wife.
I am not even sure if we are engaged. I don’t fully understand the meaning of that English word. I didn’t received an engagement ring or a formal ‘Will You Marry Me?” proposal. We just agreed to get married this year.
It is more of like a partnership agreement. But I’ve never thought that such partnership would be a struggle up to this moment.
I was just thinking about myself. Am I that demanding? Am I not really appreciating things? Am I too bad? Am I too ugly? Ideas don’t match but one thing is for sure. I am not happy about it.
I admit it, that sometimes I envy those youngsters being able to experience how romantic love is. It could have a bitter ending but at least they’ve experienced the sweet side of it, being treated like a princess, beautiful and precious.
In my case, most of the time I feel like I am treated like a… cellphone. Something that you always have the whole day but would only use if it is needed.
In the morning, it would be an alarm to wake you up. If you don’t feel like waking up, you’ll just switch the alarm off then it will stop. During the day, you’ll receive texts and calls from it. Since you’re too busy with your work, those messages would either be read at night, or deleted or, just stored for months. On lucky days, there would be a new interesting game you could download and play using it. But after a few games, it would be of no use again.
It is worse than being a pet dog.
Then the questions keep on coming out again. Am I that demanding? Am I not really appreciating things? Am I too bad? Am I too ugly?
Should I still marry him?